Then and now...Memories

On Tuesday my husband Paul and I took a trip to Oregon to visit my parents.
My sister Mary and my son Tim were to meet us there. It was to be a joyous
occasion.

AS we drove up the valley road to my parents, I remembered the way it used to be. Where the housing is now there used to be pastures and cattle. These fields were full of adventures where we played for hours, heading home as evening lengthened, or my Moms' whistle called us in. She could whistle too, it would echo off the mountains and up the valley telling us it was dinnertime.

Sometimes we would be wandering in the woods back of the house. We would hunt up huckleberries, blackberries, thimble berries, salmon berries, sour grass and licorice root. Deer and Elk would graze in the fields. Salmon would make there way up the streams. All these activities we watched with wonder.

When we go got to my parents home I noticed more changes. My parents were very different from the days of my childhood. My mother was always the stongest woman I had ever met or probably will meet, unless it is my sister. She is much like my mother was at her age. Strong and opinionated.

My Mother now is a frail looking woman, much shorter than I remember, growing up. Pale and weak with breathlessness from lung disease, too many cigarettes and wood smoke. She is still a fighter, fighting for life now.
My Dad is bent and unsteady on his feet using a staff to walk slowly from one room to another with occasional trips out into the yard. My Father was a hard worker, often working 16 hour days to raise 8 children. Now he helps my mom with the dishes and it is hard for him.

Mary is my youngest sister and the closest to me in age. I listen to her coughing as she lights up her cigarettes and know I heard the cough before, but from our Mother. It pains me to know the future for her is going to be wrought with pain and an oxygen tank in tow.

I cry today for what was. I cry for what will be.